Random Resurrection

I live again.

This blog has seen so many of these phoenixy posts that people must be getting tired of them. Or maybe not, because these have themselves been very far apart, and as a consequence, quite few. So many is just a relative concept, measured in percentages. And probably, in probabilities...

Anyway, winters are here. Bombay winters suck. The sun does not cease to have the bite of summer, especially the morning sun at 8. With nothing to look forward to right now, except the yet-unrealised dream of getting a job, I am sitting idle, and instead, looking back. A much-awaited trip to Delhi made on a whim took me home to the kind of winter I love. The bite was very much there, but instead of the sun, it was the cold that bit me in the neck, sucking the heat out of the blood, not much unlike that of a vampire. Did I happen to tell you that I love vampires?

Another trip made, not on a whim this time, was to Goa, only to discover that the place is overrated. To feel like an alien in my own country made me kinda homesick. It was great fun anyway, last day blunders notwithstanding :|
I did long for another kind of a trip, if you know what I mean...

Life has sort of begun to live on its own with me. I just give in to the flow, and it keeps taking me to places I feel I do not want to go to. In retrospect, these places and experiences leave behind a lot of steps on the sand, leave a lot to be learned from, leave behind memories, diamonds and rust.

Present keeps sucking the life out of the future, and never does it fail to drag the past along. All I am left with an eroded past, much like an overused record, details diminishing every time it is played, over and over and over again. The future is void, and as I already mentioned, I just have to go with the flow of time, which rushes forward like an untamed river, filling up every bit of space available like a liquid is supposed to do, leaving out no nooks and crannies for the little things.

However, I never fall out of love with my life. No matter how many times I say "Life sucks" or something like that, I never really mean it from the heart. It probably is another manifestation of the unregulated flow. I have tried to control this flow, tried to be the master instead of being the slave, succeeding only marginally, fractionally, superficially. Perhaps this is what they call a ray of hope.

And by the way, a merry Christmas, and a very happy new year to all you people out there.