Circular Motion

My life is running around in circles. And through varying shades and hues. From yellow to green to black to purple to magenta to peach to apples to grapes to guavas to oranges to reds to a few golds and silvers here and there and then back to yellow. Colors to fruits to colors.

But all blue.

I need to break out of this monotony. This circle is taking its toll and it is not helping me in any way. Going around this circle does not burn calories and it won't slim me down. I need to find a way to the center.

The center. My short-term goal. I hope to get a better perspective. A better equation to talk about. Maybe change the circle into an ellipse, so that I can have some highs. The lows won't feel that bad then. This should be my intermediate goal. I shall then move onto a parabola. A mathematical beauty, an equation of song, moving out with endlessly opening arms, encompassing everything which comes to me along the positive axis. As for the things which are off-axis, they shall be mine at some point in the future... The ultimate goal, is it?

As of now, it is just radial acceleration. No radial velocity. A push is all that is needed, they say. But who shall give that push? Who will be the prime mover? Who will provide the activation energy?

I'll do that. Today. After I feast on the brilliant food that my lovely mom has sent me. Then, I know, I shall have the energy to break out of the circle, and I shall be the first ever particle to move out of the circular motion on my own.

Newton and Einstein can go eat themselves.

Partial Depravity

Take two words which usually don't go with each other. Put them together, play around with them, mix and match, replace and recycle... You get brilliant, intellectual-looking phrases. Phrases which actually mean something, phrases that end up conveying much more than you thought they could, phrases that will haunt your mind for, if not years, then at least some days to come, phrases so unique that won't turn up anywhere else, not even in a Google-search.

Broken Insanity is how I feel right now. Or maybe something like Upward Gravity.

I feel light-headed, my mind keeps going back to weird ideas of flying needles and Loch Ness monsters. Fireworks, flashlights, farewells, facts and figures keep repeating themselves in my head. I feel sleepy, very sleepy, but I don't have the will to sleep. It's not as if I don't WANT to sleep. I want to, but I don't feel like it.

I have classes tomorrow. I am short on attendance. I need to go to sleep so that I wake up in the morning, wake up so that I can crawl to class. I will sleep there. In classes, it is a different ball game altogether. I WANT to sleep. I may not feel sleepy, but since I so WANT it, I usually flop my head on the desk and snooze off.

I see fireworks again. In my head.

I digress quite easily when I am in this state. Some might call it being Comfortably Numb.

I call it - Infinite Boredom.
Senseless Productivity.
Energy Minimized, Output Optimized.

Untitled

The night holds me in her grasp
I feel numb
I think I faint or something
The numbness grows
All pain is lost

They say the needle kills you
I disagree
I believe it's magic or something
As the tip stings
Ecstasy is inside me

Whlie I float in this endless reverie
I am weightless
I think I see black lights
Cold as fire
Brighter than the Sun

But then, I fall into the depths
I erupt in pain
But, I still believe in the magic
This is my purgatory
Pain is my salvation