I want to...

I want to write.

I don't know about what, who or where.

I think I know how, but I am tempted to doubt myself.

I am tempted to doubt myself quite a lot these days.

Doubt. Unfounded. Baseless. Uncertainty. Risk. Higher risk, higher returns.

I have been writing a lot about myself these days, but in restricted blocks, with word limits. With character limits.

It limits my character, so to say. I am forced to write what I wish people in positions of power would believe about me. Contrived. Made up. True, but in a way twisted. Something short of real life. Truth far from truth.

I want people to read. I don't know why. Perhaps I have a thing for fame. I just want to get up there on stage and play. Do my own thing. Grab someone from the crowd and pull them up, and not be one of the crowd. Definitely not the one next to the person who is pulled up on stage for that 15 seconds of fame.

Fame. Doesn't come easy. I feel that I am just giving myself away here. The kind of feeling which comes when you have nothing left to lose. I want to gain something. Profit. Loss. Futures. Options. Risk. Returns. Contrived. Made up. Forced...

I want to break free of the cycle. Is there a cycle? I don't know. I just want to break something. Shatter. Destroy.

I want superpowers. To break. To build something new where I break. Fame is power. I want fame. I want power.

I want to rise above it all. I want to just sit there and see. And play. Manipulate. Force. Peel truth away from truth. Make believe.

I want to, but I don't know how...